I went in for my routine checkup and they found 3 spots. After 3 very painful biopsies, 2 spots are cancer. My mom was with me when I found this out. I went out to get my car and I said “God, I cannot do this again”. I will tell you this, when you tell someone that you have cancer 1,2,3 times, they look at you like you are already dead. It is harder for you to tell someone you have cancer, than for you to deal with living and knowing that you have cancer. So, my advice is when somebody says “I have cancer” don’t look at them like they are already dead.

Once I leave there and she gives me a surgery date, I plan everything and tell no one. At this point, I am tired of telling people that I have cancer and they look at me like I am already dead. Again, I am mom’s primary caregiver. What will she do when I am gone? I know I am going to die this time, so I plan everything. I plan my funeral and pay for it. I have letters to my mom, Jennifer, my boyfriend, and my job. I am going to surgery, knowing that I am going to heaven. I tell my doctor thank you for everything, knowing it is my last breath. I thought I knew it was, but God had a bigger plan.